Conversations with the self – II

I’m reading How to be a Bawse by Lilly Singh. Lilly isn’t one of my favourite YouTubers, but I’ve always admired her spunk, and commitment to her brand. She talks of hard work and discipline taking guiding her journey to the top. A line in the book particularly stuck out to me. She says something […]

June 2019

I wake up with my usual 6 am alarm, although my biological clock has so adjusted to the time, that I barely need an alarm at all. I quickly wake up, only to look outside the window to see Cambridge in all of its charm and beauty. His new apartment is really a great find […]

Ramblings of an anxious mind-I

The worst part about dealing with anxiety is that it is irrational. No amount go logical thinking and reasoning can stop the big screaming voice inside me telling me how I’ll lose the people close to me. How I’ll be bad mouthed and called a chutiya. It’s just how it is. This time it was […]

Questions of fear

I am frozen. Looking it instagram pictures of people whose lives seem to be moving on, going places. Watching youtube videos I know will make me depressed or angry or judgemental. Not working on the things that should matter to me. That do matter to me. Running, writing, reading, painting even. I’m going through the […]

Thoughts and pleas when crying

Its like every irrational fear, every shred of self-doubt, every negative thought and feeling has come alive. My peace with myself and the world has gone for a toss. Its a desperate plea for help that is building up inside of me, but no one can hear it. I’m trying to silence myself. I don’t […]

Late night musings

Have you every felt like you don’t know who you are? What you are? The phase where nothing seems to help resolve that inherent dilemma, no matter how many cigarettes you smoke, how much you smoke up, how many TV shows you binge watch, how many Pinterest inspired beauty “routines” you follow? The don’t relax […]